MINISTRY PRINCIPLES & PRAGMATICS

listening

  • Why you need to squeeze the pus in difficult conversations

    When it’s clear someone has a concern, the longer it takes to get the concern out of them, the more likely there is that there’s other concerns still sitting behind that one. Once you’ve started digging, and they’re opening up… Continue reading

    Why you need to squeeze the pus in difficult conversations

  • If you want people to lay their cards on the table…

    …you have to show some of yours. That’s just how relationships and trust work. There’s no use going into a conversation where it might be tricky and expecting the other person to tell you everything about themselves, where they’re at with… Continue reading

    If you want people to lay their cards on the table…

  • Your way is not the only way it can get done right #horstmans-laws.8

    (This is a series of reflections on Horstman’s Laws) If you’re in gospel ministry, it’s easy to get into a way of thinking that the way you do things is the right way… the only way. And when someone comes up and suggests… Continue reading

    Your way is not the only way it can get done right #horstmans-laws.8

  • Unfortunately, behaviours dictate theology

    It would be nice if people developed their personal beliefs from the Bible, and only from the Bible. But that’s just not the world we live in. The reality is that people have experiences, they make choices, they have behaviours… Continue reading

    Unfortunately, behaviours dictate theology

  • You have a culture, did you know?

    Whatever the group, big or small, whole church or growth group, it has a culture. There’s a commonly agreed way things are. A commonly held idea about how things happen; evangelism, bible reading, singing, everything. You only notice it when… Continue reading

    You have a culture, did you know?

  • Choose how to hear people

    You don’t have to hear people the way they want you too. You actually get to choose what type of “thing” you’re going to hear. If someone gives you a complement, you can decide to hear it as a comment… Continue reading

  • Do you care about everyone?

    I hope you do. We all want to care about everyone. But often we can end up only caring for the few who are loudest. We listen to the vocal minority, and end up ignoring the silent majority. It doesn’t… Continue reading

  • Reflective listening causes self-reflection

    If you want to see people change, its pretty rare that simply telling them to change will do anything. Telling people what they should think rarely gets them thinking something different to what they already do. But reflecting back to… Continue reading

  • Influence requires association

    If you want to change someone’s mind or a culture, you can’t do it from the outside. The less associated you are, the less influence you can ever have. Its unbelievable how people think that simply by complaining from the… Continue reading