How you feel is your responsibility – not other peoples’ #horstmas-laws.7

(This is a series of reflections on Horstman’s Laws)

Other people do not control how you feel. Other people do not make you feel angry, or feel mad, or even feel jealous or happy. Your feelings are exactly that… yours. You’ve produced those feelings. They are your responsibility.

Sure, other people might have behaved in certain ways which led to you producing those feelings. But they didn’t make you have those feelings.
This is something that Jesus models for us amazingly. He gets betrayed, abandoned, beaten, whipped, mocked, spat on and crucified. That’s what other people did to him. But Jesus knew he was responsible for his reactions. Jesus prayed for those crucifying him. He loved them.

Or to put it another way… it is possible — isn’t it — that you could respond differently? There’s no “only” response. There’s always a range of responses. Who determines which of those responses you are going to have?

You do.

So, when you’re shunned, ignored, attacked, verbally abused, accused… remember your immediate response is not the only (nor the best) response. There are other ways you can choose to respond.

The difference between an Emergency and an Urgency

Too often, myself included, people treat both Emergencies and Urgencies in the same way. It’s worth being aware of the difference and the different responses for each.
Emergencies are things like a fire, a flood, etc… They require everyone to perform the same action straight away with no particular thought for the future beyond the emergency. Lives are at stake and there’s already a clear path of action. Take it.
On the other hand, an Urgency doesn’t need instant action. Rather it needs clarity. Let me say that again.
Respond to Emergencies with simple actions.
Respond to Urgencies by creating clarity.
That means you stop and think. You might have to do it fast. That’s ok. But if its not an Emergency where lives are at stake, the goals have to be different. The goal when faced with an Urgency is clarity. Coming up with the “this is what we’re going to do” is the goal.
When do you respond to an urgent issue as though it is an emergency?