One day I should write a post about how men and women are the same. But not today.

Someone once suggested that mens’ brains are like pigeon-holes and womens’ brains are like spaghetti. I like that analogy and find it helpful. Neither is bad or worse, they’re just different and complementary.

Men are usually quite good at a) categorisation (“What type of conversation are we having? What relationship have we got? Who’s the boss? What’s the next step?”) and b) single focus (“Lets get this done. Here’s the next five steps. I’ve got a solution!! Why are we waiting?!?”)

Women on the other hand are usually quite good at a) seeing connections (“Who will be affected by this? Some people will hear this conversation differently. Mary will hear this from Judy… There are so many layers involved.”) and b) multiple thoughts at once (i.e. switching conversation topics quickly, seeing how solutions don’t help everyone, wanting to think it through more)

Can you see why women often don’t like solutions thrown at them? Because the real problem they are dealing with is that one issue is all intertwined with other issues in their minds!! Husbands (men) can be a wonderful help to their wives by not offering solutions, but by separating the spaghetti and keeping the unrelated ideas unrelated.

In the same way women can help men see how their actions and plans are going to be perceived and heard. They can help guys see connectiveness better.