Did you decide to feel hungry today? Did you make yourself feel thirsty? Or what about the language you learnt to speak as a child… did you choose to WANT to learn “English” over “Spanish”? Did you decide to want to walk?
No. You didn’t. They are all good gifts from God, gifts that keep you alive… You were given the gift of wanting good things. God moved you to desire them.
Now, did you choose to want God? Did you decide that you would desire a right relationship with Jesus?
No. That initial desire, that wanting, that disposition… That was a gift from God.
And here’s the kicker…
Without it, you would never have even wanted God. You would feel no need, no desire, no hunger to be right with him. It’s only by the Spirit of God at work in your soul that you even feel convicted that you’ve done evil (John 16:8). Without it making you feel convicted, you just wouldn’t feel guilty… you wouldn’t think you’ve done anything very wrong. You would be left to your own little, insignificant, selfish, shallow, evil “wants”.
Without God helping you want him, you would never want him. Jesus says, “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him” (John 6:44). None of us can want him without his help to want him.
You can’t make yourself want God, only God can do that. His desire, your decision.