The main reason people get marriage wrong is that they (usually) subconsciously want the marriage to be for their good.
That’s a politically correct way of saying “I want my spouse to give up the rest of their life and spend it making me happy and fulfilled”. Don’t misunderstand me… I am being that blunt. If you go into marriage in the hope that “the marriage” will somehow make you happy and fulfilled, you are placing a HUGE and UNREASONABLE expectation on your spouse!! You are demanding they live for you… Because a marriage is only made of of two people, and if it’s for one of you, it must be at the cost of the other.
You could try and do marriage for the good of BOTH of you… But then, who gets to decide if one of you is getting a better deal, a greater fulfilment? It doesn’t work.
Marriage only works when you go into it for the total good of your spouse, at the total cost of yourself. When you go into it for their fulfilment, not your own. For their happiness, not your own.
And the only way you can do that, is when you have a greater source of fulfilment outside your marriage.
Enter Jesus… The alpha and omega, the beginning and the end, the one who loved you, for your good, at the cost of his life.