conversations
-
Questions direct conversations
The person asking the questions usually gets to direct the conversation. Speaking to someone is like landing in a random Wikipedia page, and as they speak certain things are clickable; family life, work, growing up, troubles, joys, hopes, fears. You… Continue reading
-
No… you hang up first
If you make a lot of phone calls, just another thing to be wary of (if there wasn’t enough on your mind already) is; who’s hanging up first? It’s always worth waiting a few seconds just to make sure they’ve… Continue reading
-
Actions have a very limited vocabulary
Yes, actions do speak louder than words. But they have a very limited vocabulary, in fact, actions communicate very few things when it’s said and done. (Or just done for that matter.) The best actions can do is communicate that I love… Continue reading
-
Define what TYPE of conversation you’re having
What type of conversation are we having? Because if you think we’re having a “Let’s come to an agreement before we move on anything” conversation, and I think we’re having a “tell me your ideas, perspectives, issues with my plans… Continue reading
-
Externally solid, internally flexible
Great teams think highly of each other, trust each other, and are reluctant to jump on the bagging-out band-wagon when its aimed at their team mates. For example, even though I wasn’t the most liked guy on my rugby team… Continue reading
-
Don’t condone accusations
Accusations – in any forum – are always serious. Whether your in a formal minuted meeting, a public forum, an online discussion or a private conversation; accusations are serious forms of gossip. Accusations commonly move from talking about events to… Continue reading
-
Address people’s emotions before you address their questions
If someone asks you a difficult question, or a personal question, or an emotionally charged question, chances are they’re not going to be listening to what you say. Instead, all that’s going to be going through their mind is… How… Continue reading
-
Defend the weak = stop gossip
Gossip isn’t simply when “other people” talk about you. That’s fine. Rather, gossip is when other people talk about you in damaging ways… when they talk to other people about your intentions, your motives. Or putting it the other way… Continue reading
-
Is there something else?
If you’re meeting up with someone, or you’ve been approached by someone, there’s a question you need to ask pretty regularly… “Is there something else you’d like to raise?” “Was there anything else you wanted to chat about?” “Is there… Continue reading
-
Offer girls an “out”
Sometimes, some guys don’t know they’re being unrelational, they don’t know they’re making a girl feel awkward, they haven’t picked up on the normal social cues. They’ll trap a girl (or a pair of girls) in a conversation after church… Continue reading
-
Modern day gifts: The Categorisor
I love these people, mainly because I wish I was good at it. Categorisors are those people who look at a big list of topics, or a whole book of the bible, or listen to a 3hr conversation… and then… Continue reading
-
Some feedback tricks are just destructive
Have you heard the feedback trick, “Sandwich negative feedback between two positive pieces of feedback”? But what usually happens? They hear the first comment with suspicion, thinking “What’s coming that’s so bad you need to butter me up first?”. And… Continue reading
-
many foolish tongues flap about people, sometimes there is talk of past events, but rare are the ones who discuss ideas Continue reading
MINISTRY PRINCIPLES & PRAGMATICS 