There’s always going to be some people in your church who will never really see you as their leader/elder/pastor. They’ll come along, they’ll attend, they’ll agree with this and disagree with that. They might find you arrogant (ironic!), they might think you’re too young (again, read 1Tim 4:12), they might have some theological idea about how church leaders shouldn’t have authority (???). But in the end, in their eyes, your not their pastor.
The only thing you can do, as Scripture says, is set “an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity”. Only by God’s grace can you become someone’s pastor, as you continue to wash them with the word of the gospel.
Don’t bother trying anything else. And… don’t bother caring much about it either. There’s nothing you can do.
So why isn’t there anything in the bible about dual church membership?
Well most of the churches were made up of the ONLY Christians in that area. There was THE church in Ephesus, THE church in Corinth, etc. They didn’t have multiple churches in these cities, they had one group of people, one group of elders… even if they did meet in separate homes… they had one group of common leaders.
Why is this important?
This is important because it defines the normal. It’s the normal Christian way to be part of a local church; to have leaders that you sit under their teaching; to have a fellowship you love and serve. That’s how Jesus has designed his people to live together.
If you have Jesus as your lord, you’re designed to be part of a fellowship.
So, can you be part of two of those fellowships? Does that even happen in the New Testament?
Asking people about sin in their life is hard. Its awkward, beat-around-the-bush, so-how-you-going-in-that-area, vague conversation.
But that’s very rarely helpful or loving for people.
Because Jesus didn’t die for vague “areas” of sin. Jesus died for each and every specific sin we do (as well as our entire attitude of rebellion). In prayer, we don’t just repent for vague sins, we repent of specific time-and-date sins.
So, out of love for your brothers and sisters, press through the awkwardness (that satan creates), and move from vague areas of sin to specifics. “When was the last time you…?” “How long has it been since…?” “What did you actually say to her?” “Exactly how many drinks did you have?”
For some people (most by experience) they haven’t thought about these details them-self, and its only as they put words to their own actions that they begin to realise the depth of sin they’re caught in.
Love them by asking hard specific questions, but also be careful you don’t become their preist!!