assumptions
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Repost: Before you answer, ask if they care
It’s nice when people ask questions; whether they are atheists or mature Christians. We all like the feeling of being asked, or the opportunity to “give an answer for the hope we have”. But, before you answer, just ponder whether… Continue reading
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Repost: Please criticise after you…
1. Think of a better (realistic not idealistic) alternative. 2. Assume the person you’re about to criticise has already thought of that alternative. 3. Assume that the person has some really good reason (or info that you don’t have) to… Continue reading
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Reblog – Only rebuke when…
Only rebuke when there’s not a conflict of interest; don’t do it because they’ve hurt your friend’s feelings, or to make someone else happy, don’t do it because it will give you an advantage. Only rebuke when you’ve distanced yourself… Continue reading
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Meeting a newbie? Assume two opposing things
They arrive, join in, seem to settle in well. They smile when you talk to them, they nod when you say Christian stuff. They talk about their last church in favourable terms. There’s two opposing things you need to assume:… Continue reading
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Dream!
Leading, delegating, starting, serving… they all require a little bit of dreaming. Sometimes, they require a lot of dreaming. What would you LOVE to see happen… don’t worry about “how” it will happen just yet… just imagine. What would you… Continue reading
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The wonderful idea of using an “umbrella of mercy” when talking
I can’t remember where we got this idea but it’s brilliant… our staff team has this phrase “umbrella of mercy”. It’s what we say before we say something that could be taken the wrong way, or something that might be… Continue reading
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When you focus on one “why” over another “why”
If there are two types of reasons “why” you might do something (see previous post) can you focus on one of those types of “why” too much? You can… If you focus too heavily on the “functional why” (because we… Continue reading
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Disagreement does not mean devaluing
It’s really important that we separate disagreeing from devaluing. Being disagreed with does not mean that we’re being devalued. Just because my boss doesn’t agree with me, that doesn’t mean he devalues me. Just because a husband decides against his wife’s… Continue reading
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Few resources doesn’t mean lots of needs
People often get these two categories mixed up. Resources and Needs. That is, they’ll see a church that doesn’t have many resources; it doesn’t have a youth worker, it doesn’t have many staff, it doesn’t have growth group leaders; scripture… Continue reading
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Defend the weak = stop gossip
Gossip isn’t simply when “other people” talk about you. That’s fine. Rather, gossip is when other people talk about you in damaging ways… when they talk to other people about your intentions, your motives. Or putting it the other way… Continue reading
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Is there something else?
If you’re meeting up with someone, or you’ve been approached by someone, there’s a question you need to ask pretty regularly… “Is there something else you’d like to raise?” “Was there anything else you wanted to chat about?” “Is there… Continue reading
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Why is it working?
Is something your running working well? Is your church growing? Are people coming along? Are people growing? Don’t be too quick to assume its your amazing programs. Don’t be too quick to claim that God is blessing you specially. Sometimes,… Continue reading
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Turn feelings into numbers
Not every time, but sometimes, its really helpful to ask people to translate their feelings into numbers… just a simple scale of 1-10. It’s great because it avoids too-positive and too-negative assumptions. When someone says, “Yeah, I’m ok” what do… Continue reading
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Try teaching the opposite
How do you get people to wrestle with the Bible, not just nod their head without thinking? One way is to show them they assume the opposite. Lead them down the path of thinking A only to show them God… Continue reading
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Some feedback tricks are just destructive
Have you heard the feedback trick, “Sandwich negative feedback between two positive pieces of feedback”? But what usually happens? They hear the first comment with suspicion, thinking “What’s coming that’s so bad you need to butter me up first?”. And… Continue reading
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You have to operate with some assumptions
It’s impossible to assume nothing. Either they have done what you’ve asked, or they haven’t Either they know about the issue already, or they don’t Either they are lying to you, or someone else is Either they are planning on… Continue reading
MINISTRY PRINCIPLES & PRAGMATICS 